Oregon Kahuna Hash House Harriers Run #1
-or-
"How to pull a rabbit out of a hound".
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Miracle on Terwilliger

by Pink Pylon

With our most wiley hare setting off, I for one felt a twinge of anxiety. Our motley
crew of hash-has-beens, middle-aged-misfits and just plain big-fat-dumb-asses
would be no match for the clever and sinister Wild Man. He would lead us into frustration,
and then deliver us straight into his evil; a web of flour lies and false turns. We
were not match for him and he knew it.

His hour of flour would underpower and sour our ability to flower at this zero hour.

And on top of that. I felt sure he would lead us at 1/2 a mile per hour
all the way up to the fucking water tower.

We would be devoured..(okay enough of that). We needed a hero. We were in fact, a bunch
of soft bellied slackers.

As we heavy footed hounds trudged up the hill like cows to slaughter, we lost trail almost
immediately. I could see his face in the sky laughing-- mocking us poor mortals.

Suddenly, Snyphillius shot down terwilliger as if running from a paternity suit.
He was operating on some bad beta that I had given him earlier and quickly disappeared in the
wrong direction. 1 hound down. 20 hounds to go.

To make a long story short. WM led us for miles across the urban wilderness. We were hot
and thirsty and spread out all over town, but no beer in sight. Finally we got to the first
beer check. It was miller lite..barely beer, but enough...to keep going. I thought
My god..we were only 1/2 way.

Luckily a miracle had already taken place:

Unknown to us, Sniffy and Katoytoy had caught the evil rabbit and were engineering a
way to save the day, (or at least get back before it was night). With divine inspiration
They had tricked WM into giving them a bag of flour and then LO and BEHOLD, through some
sort of EASTER/PASSOVER MIRACLE THE 2 HOUNDS BECAME EASTER BUNNY RABBITS!!!!!

Praise the Lord. (amen)

Anyway, the 2 good hares set a trail straight back to the on-in and we all got back a
little before dark. Except for WM's evil plans being thwarted for some other
week, everything worked out ok.

Thus end'th our inaugural hash run..a precedent without precedent that hopefully won't
start a precedent.

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